I do this on purpose. The other night we were watching a movie and she said she was going to get up and have some popcorn. I stopped her and said that she needed to choose: having popcorn or having me that night. She pouted and seemed really upset but came and sat back down. About ten minutes later, she went to the kitchen and came back with some cheese puffs and ate those instead. How do I punish her?
It walks a dangerous line of sexual assault. A good Dom knows the difference.
A bad one gives this entire lifestyle a bad name. Where and how did you learn how to properly use implements?
Since your sub has more experience: does she sometimes teach you? Great question. For the most part, I did a lot of researching via YouTube and trusted Dominants in my life.
Google also helped a lot as well, though it was crucial to weed out tumblr dominate bad info from the good. Whenever I would get a new implement, I would also test it out on the bed or a pillow before approaching R with it, to get a good feel of it in My hand and assess the weight and balance.
We started delving into things deeper, figuring out the nooks and cranies of what makes us…well, us. On the 4th of July, we sat on our front porch and watched the fireworks together, holding hands and curled up against one another. After what happened last year when we brought another girl into our bed, and the tragic and truly horrible way in which it ended, we had declared our monogamy with one another. But we wanted to try again. More on that in another post. So we tried Tinder. We met a couple and it went…south. We never even made it into a sexual situation.
We met another couple, and it went the same way. We thought we might be out of luck completely. But living in a small town means we have small options, and this was the only thing we could think to do. We found a club. We picked out clothing.
We made a plan. We panicked multiple times in our driveway, on the 1. That night is still mostly a blur. One of the most pivitoal moments for me was when I found myself lying on a bed with six different people with their hands, mouths, fingers, tongues, and cocks all over me and inside me and caressing me.
It was surreal. It was magic. It felt so right for T and I. We left with new friends, their phone s tucked in my bra. On the way home, tumblr dominate talked and laughed, high on sexual energy and intimacy. The sex we had the next morning was euphoric. Each time has been a different experience, wilder and more intimate and silly and wonderful than the time before.
Apparently T and I are swingers now. It seems like a straightforward organization on paper. Only then may the Dominant focus on his or her own needs and pursue his or her wants and fantasies. In practice, however, nothing in a relationship is ever quite that simple.
Any experienced Dominant will tell you that dominance is a full time job. It takes considerable and often draining work. It is, after all, what we were born to do: lead. But leadership is not a path.
We are trailblazers, creating the path as we go so that our submissives may follow. The Dominant way, like a thick, dark wood, is littered with all manor of obstacles. The quicksand of depression. The dead-fall of failure.
The brambles of past trauma. But the gravest danger awaiting the unwary Dominant are the vipers of egotism.
Their bite is vicious. I often pepper my writing with these woodland metaphors because I love to hike. Here in the South, this warning is not only a reminder to avoid ankle-turning missteps. Any stone or log could be a hiding place for a rattlesnake. The Dominant path is much the same. If you would avoid the sting of egotism, amidst the devotion and worship or your submissive, you must take preventative measures. Only by putting each other first can you both be first.
If your submissive is worth the label, you will always be their first priority.
You must do the same in your own way. It is a careful balance of perspective and attitude. It requires constant reflection, self-analysis and critique, and mindfulness. One of my teachers recommended to all his students that they take time every night, before bed, to review their day, looking for mistakes they made and ways they could improve.
Journaling helps to process these findings and work out strategies for coping with them. A strategy that has always kept me humble is to constantly remind myself that, while my submissive tumblr dominate me and holds me in high regard, it is not me that she worships, but the ideal that I represent. I am a symbol of the strength, security, and stability that she needs. I can never earn the level of devotion she shows me. I can never be worthy of her reverence. But I can accept it as a symbol of the fulfillment of her needs and aspirations.
By constantly setting my small self aside, I am able to view my dominance, my leadership in her life, as a service to her, rather than a fulfillment of my own ego. A Dominant must have confidence, yes. But if confidence becomes hubris, there will be disaster for both Dominant and submissive.
The ego must always be tempered by humility. A Dominant takes on enormous responsibility. Indeed, the Dominants I know are gracious to one another as a rule. Between the adulation of admirers in their local community or on social media, and the intoxicating praise and devotion of their submissives, even good Dominants fall victim to their own sense of self-importance.
Their egotism rolls over not just any opposition they may face, but, if unchecked, their friends and even their submissive. So a Dominant should, at all times, cultivate a humble attitude. Confidence should stop short of arrogance. Leadership, of tyranny. Desire, of gluttony.